Inspire me.

michonce:

The best day of my life yet would be this past Friday. Although it started off with me waking up at 7 in the morning and working until 3:30 in the afternoon, my Friday ended up pretty well.

So, immediately after work I was suppose to go to a photography workshop but I couldn’t make it in time. That meant I had nothing to do for the rest of my Friday. So my roommate suggested that I should go to church with her.

Now, I consider myself agnostic, skeptical about the existence (or nonexistence) of God but opened to observing and, to my surprise on Friday, indulging in the praise and worship. (For the record, I’ve gone to praise and worship for about 3 times in my entire life.)

And I would feel the same way every time. I’d smile when I see a few people getting really into it, I’d get sudden chills when I hear the angelic voices around me, I’d eventually sing along to the easy-to-follow songs, and I’d question but end up putting my head down and folding my hands when it was time for worship. Superficial stuff.

But for some mystical reason, I was completely indulged on Friday. 

When I was worshipping, my throat became a bit dry, causing me to cough uncontrollably and my left eye to become watery. So I wiped my eye and then sniffed (because I had a stuffy nose). And I thought to myself, “Haha, it seems like I’m crying but I’m not.” After that was over, I closed my eyes and began to wait.

And your senses become stronger when one isn’t in use, right? So, I listened intently to the beautiful tune coming from the piano and the voices of the praise team and entire congregation. It was just too perfect. 

And I think that was what sparked my tears; the amount of emotion and beauty in it all was overwhelming. My mind kept spinning, my tears kept rushing down and my nose got stuffier.

“God will always be there… He loves you so much.” That made me cry, too. I guess I felt extremely thankful to know that there is “someone” who will always show me unconditional support and compassion and forgiveness. I wasn’t really wondering whether God exists or not. The most important thing to me, in this moment, was that this connection made me feel something I’ve never felt before. It made me feel loved, fearless, and reassured. It made me want to be a better person. It made me want to share His amount of love for me to everyone else around me.

My roommate also placed her head next to mine and held my hand, and started to say prayers concerning me. I felt like I didn’t deserve it and I felt thankful for her, too. All of this made me cry so much.

I still don’t fully understand why I cried, but I do know it was a good thing. And it is definitely the best day of my life yet.

michonce:

• October 14, 2012 - I met Jesus for the first time during my freshmen year of college at a Friday praise and prayer night.
  
• June 1, 2014 - Heard a message from Pastor Erwin McManus about silencing the voices of Satan and listening to the Words of God, preached from Genesis 3, and my years of crying episodes were healed. They stopped completely. I was taken out of a really dark place.
• January 16, 2015 - Heard a message from Pastor Issac about how unbelief can paralyze you, preached from Luke 5:17-32. For the first time, I prayed with faith for my unbelieving family members and friends. God gave me a vision about my family - we were all sitting at our dinner table, holding hands and smiling at each other, and I offered to pray for the meal. God told me to hold onto this promise. 
• January 17, 2015 - I decided I wanted to commit myself to Jesus for the rest of my life, get baptized, and proclaim it to everyone. The next baptism at KCS was in April.
• February 25, 2015 - Started doing bible studies/discipleship with some girls from ICC. Long story short, I was beginning to not be like myself and almost converted into this cult-like community that twisted the truth of the Bible. 
• April 5, 2015 - Got baptized. Very grateful that my best friend Kassia, my brother, Stanley, photo friend Drew, and my church fam were all there to share this experience with me. 
• June 2015 - I was bitter, confused, and drifted away from God because He took away “the perfect” internship from me. 
• July 3-10, 2015 - Forced myself to go up to Syracuse and serve at Lodi Summer Camp because God closed every door except this one. This was my first (local) missions trip. Long story short, my faith was renewed and I realized my life is about God and others before me. 
• August 2015-January 2016 - Studied abroad in London and fell far, far away from God. 
• January 22, 2016 - Attended my last college winter retreat and after listening to the way Pastor James Choi preached, my heart finally understood the importance of reading the Bible every day. So I began to read the Bible every day starting with Genesis. 
• May 2016-July 2016 - FUNEMPLOYMENT… and anxiety
• July 10, 2016 - Pastor Josh preached a message about truly surrendering everything to God and humbly seeking where God wants you to serve. I read my bible and wholeheartedly prayed, lifting my future up to God. 
• July 12, 2016 - I get an email from Time Out New York for my first freelance photo shoot. God provides. 
• August 18, 2016 - God provided a video internship at Spoon University. By the looks of this, it seems like God has opened up the food world. 
• September 27, 2016 - Mom told me she believes in Jesus and only Jesus and took down the Chinese idols. God is answering my prayers from a year ago. 
• October 17, 2016 - God provided a paid video internship opportunity at Tasting Table. God’s been teaching me about timing. 
• October 30, 2016 - My brother told me he prayed to God for strength, perseverance, and guidance. He did not pray for a good grade or to ace an interview or to get lots of money, etc. He asked me to pray for him too. And he also decided to give prayer another try because he remembered I told him that God will always be there when there’s no one else there for you… <3 God is moving in my family, so quickly and powerfully. I am so humbled and full of tears. He is softening their hearts and I experienced a whole new level of goodness by God. He is so good. And this is what life is all about - seeing death turning into life through the gospel… this is why I am here. 
• October 30, 2016 - Life is good. God has blessed me with a loving family, a home, food to eat, an amazing boyfriend and friends, and a family of Christ that is so gospel-centered. God has also given me so many opportunities to immerse myself in the food world via freelance/internship. Although finance is (always) a struggle, He is still good and I know I can rely on Him. I think I have finally built my foundation on Jesus, my rock. Life’s good. In Him, it is well.

January 21, 2018 - Randomly checked my tumblr again. It’s been over a year. Update: God is still good.

Employed as a FT video producer at a digital media company, many conversations about God come up with my coworkers, shared the gospel with one, will continue to be a light at work.

Became a member at TIGBC, serving as a Sunday School teacher for our children’s ministry, in discipleship, rejoicing with my sister in Christ Shirley for getting baptized and wanting to become a member here too.

Mom has been coming to church on Sunday after work to speak to CMO and other members of my church. Dad and bro still a bit hesitant. Convos about God have been brought up to my extended family and friends for the first time. Hoping to share the gospel with them soon.

Stanley and I have been together for 5 years, still going strong, thank You Lord. We’re trying to use our Saturdates to serve others.

Been trying to read the Bible every day. Currently on Job. Struggling to pray every day but I’m working on it. Trying to spend less money on clothes and give more to others.

Trying to use my Instagram as an outlet to talk about God, share some of my personal life, and post food pics 😋

And that should be it for now! Stay tuned.

michonce:

The best day of my life yet would be this past Friday. Although it started off with me waking up at 7 in the morning and working until 3:30 in the afternoon, my Friday ended up pretty well.

So, immediately after work I was suppose to go to a photography workshop but I couldn’t make it in time. That meant I had nothing to do for the rest of my Friday. So my roommate suggested that I should go to church with her.

Now, I consider myself agnostic, skeptical about the existence (or nonexistence) of God but opened to observing and, to my surprise on Friday, indulging in the praise and worship. (For the record, I’ve gone to praise and worship for about 3 times in my entire life.)

And I would feel the same way every time. I’d smile when I see a few people getting really into it, I’d get sudden chills when I hear the angelic voices around me, I’d eventually sing along to the easy-to-follow songs, and I’d question but end up putting my head down and folding my hands when it was time for worship. Superficial stuff.

But for some mystical reason, I was completely indulged on Friday. 

When I was worshipping, my throat became a bit dry, causing me to cough uncontrollably and my left eye to become watery. So I wiped my eye and then sniffed (because I had a stuffy nose). And I thought to myself, “Haha, it seems like I’m crying but I’m not.” After that was over, I closed my eyes and began to wait.

And your senses become stronger when one isn’t in use, right? So, I listened intently to the beautiful tune coming from the piano and the voice of one of the talented and passionate members on the praise team. It was just too perfect. 

And I think that was what sparked my tears; the amount of emotion and beauty in it all was overwhelming. My mind kept spinning, my tears kept rushing down and my nose got stuffier.

“God will always be there… He loves you so much.” That made me cry, too. I guess I felt extremely thankful to know that there is “someone” who will always show unconditional support and compassion and forgiveness. Whether He exists or not is not what’s most important. What’s more important is that this connection made me feel something. It made me feel loved, fearless, and reassured. It makes me want to be a better person. It makes me want to share His amount of love for me to everyone else around me.

My roommate also placed her head next to mine and held my hand, and started to say prayers concerning me. I felt like I didn’t deserve it and I felt thankful for her, too. All of this made me cry so much.

I still don’t fully understand why I cried, but I do know it was a good thing. And it is definitely the best day of my life yet.